Por: Patricia Kortmann
Whether they are right or wrong, they are sure to be on the reason’s side.
It is commonly seen, nowadays, sons or daughters arguing with their parents. Depending on the age they are, disagreements may be happening with a relative great frequency. And here one can get to the pick point of the problem because teenagers are getting in touch with the real world: know “new things”, meet new friends, and try to be member of a new club or whatever the surrounding is they are convinced the right reason is from their point of view.
Once more, parents are confronted with their own authority, because children present such good arguments that father and mother get a big deal trying to make them understand what is really correct among common rules: social and familiar. The problem targets to the basis where each family has grown their children, meaning how permissive they may have been in the time when kids were getting older. It is very much important to consider the time when the family gets together, because this moment should be for doing things in common, having a direct contact among members and not only calling attention for mistaken things.
It is heard from parents and children that they don’t have enough time to meet for lunch, for example. From a very neutral point of view, these words are not true. It is not important the quantity of time parents and children spent together as it is the quality. Shorter periods of family meetings are better when a conflict appears because there is more time to think about what happened and to debate with fundaments which will be rich enough to leave parts with conformity.
At the present time, most of parents have got a profession or job. This level of professionalism of the parents makes a lot of changing attitudes in the behaviour of children. Unfortunately, parents think they always have got the reason and when they receive a note from children’s school letting them know their son or daughter have made something improper, they react erroneously saying out loud about the content of the note, using inappropriate words and with an also erroneous attitude. Parents don’t realise their children are copying every detail they are performing. Later, these performances will be repeated at school, within the family or in any place where teenagers consider this as OK.
To debate becomes a normal action during the development of life, because there has been a pattern established by adults which will be followed by adolescents. It is the responsibility of parents to recognize what they did wrong while their children were growing and be able to answer to the questioning from teenagers without falling in the game of debating. Parents should show authority, being careful on the limits they have to establish.
Adolescents are not going to debate just to ask for something if they have clear point of view.
Remember: “The court must be drawn from the beginning”.
